|21 Signs Your Lover Is Cheating On You|
|Written by Site Administrator|
|2012-06-27 11:27 am|
Everybody in a relationship worries about their mate slipping out on them, but unless you stumble in late at night smelling like cheap perfume, it can be tough to tell whether your man has a jumpoff. Thankfully, our experts are here to help. Below are some of the ways you can tell whether you’re just being jealous or he’s actually up to no good.
1. He/She takes or makes phone calls in private. Although there may be a need for privacy when taking or making phone calls, if your partner retreats to the other room every time the phone rings, there may be something more going on, especially if this behavior is new or has suddenly become more frequent.
2. He/She deletes the text history on his phone. Most people do not bother deleting old text messages … at least not until the phone is full. If your partner makes sure that old messages are deleted — or worse — they delete them as soon as they finish a conversation with someone, there may be more going on than just texting.
3. He/She maintains multiple e-mail or social media accounts. If you discover additional or hidden e-mail or social media sites, things are almost certainly not good. Simply put, people in committed relationships have no need to maintain accounts that their partners don’t know about. If you discover one of these, it is time to be concerned.
4. He/She avoids family or other social events. Infidelity, whether physical or emotional, will always result in lost time with friends and family. If your partner avoids social gatherings or activities, leaves early or arrives late because of some project or task, there may be a strong chance that he is spending time with someone else, whether on the phone, the computer, or in person.
5. He/She suddenly spends tons of time with another person. If your partner is suddenly spending a lot of time with a colleague, co-worker, friend or even an acquaintance, particularly if that person is of the opposite sex, you may want to learn more about this relationship and the possibility that there may be an affair going on.
6. He/She gives gifts or frequently volunteers to help another person. Although it is nice to give gifts and do kind things for friends, family members and even strangers, if your partner frequently gives gifts, especially those that are costly, take time and effort to prepare or have significant meaning, or volunteers to help out with projects around the home, this may be a sign that He/Sheis having an emotional affair.
7. You notice a different scent on Him/Her. Whether it’s another woman’s perfume or possibly a different brand of soap from showering elsewhere, your senses know things. If He/She coming home freshly showered after a full day of work, the same way he left for work, you may have a hint he’s having an affair.
8. He/She doesn’t touch you as much. Sometimes affection drops off a bit due to poor communication, unresolved issues or a recent argument. If this is unexplained behavior or he is repelling you with odd excuses, you may have a hint. At minimum, you have an issue in your relationship that needs to be addressed honestly.
9. He/She dresses differently. Has your mate started to dress a little differently or does he keep his vehicle a bit cleaner? Has He/She been acting slightly happier and more cooperative, yet all of a sudden he is busier and just leaving the house more often? (e.g. going out more often with “friends,” running more errands, etc.) If so, take heed. Take interest in the new activity/involvement if you’re curious about what’s really going on.
10. He/She’s gone longer. Does He/She usually take the dog out for a half hour run every day, but now it’s a 60-90 minute walk-run? Who is He/She running into all of a sudden at the dog park or in the neighborhood? If it’s not “chatty Kathy,” you may have a hint. Go along once in a while.
11. He/She picks fights. Is your husband/wife starting arguments that end up in him leaving the house a lot? Are his/her garments coming up missing here and there? If so, something is going on!
12. He/She’s being extra secretive. When your husband/wife suddenly has a change in his “privacy” attitude; all of a sudden you’re not supposed to know his whereabouts or who they are talking to on the phone and it’s not close to your birthday, anniversary or upcoming gift-giving holiday … I think you know.
13. There is a change in the emotional quality of your relationship. This may be shown as your partner is unengaged or overly engaged. We all, of course go through emotional changes, like the weather. However, you may notice that your partner’s attitude has changed toward you over time; they may have become more self-absorbed and less interested in you or the relationship. Often, your partner may reject your offers of affection. Your best approach here is to pay attention and be curious. —Donn Peter
14. He/She’s extremely angry. Anger and criticism that borders on cruelty is hard to take for all of us. Your partner may treat you with rudeness or impatience. He may be more controlling and more critical than usual. You may sense an increase in the degree of unhappiness in your spouse that is difficult to understand. With some partners, you may actually see an increase in happiness as a result of being involved in an affair.
15. You notice an increase in His/her work or his time spent away from home. Work can be demanding. During these times of economic stress, most workplaces are demanding more and more from their employees. Workplace relationships can develop into romantic relationships simply because the amount of time spent together on a common task tends to bond people together. If your partner has trouble with boundaries, this could lead to a problem for your relationship.
16. He/She pays an unusual amount of attention to their appearance. This would be especially telling if up until now, your partner has not shown much attention to his appearance. If your partner is having an affair, he has found a new source of love and affection. Looking good for his/her paramour is very important.
17. He/She’s overly defensive. Defensiveness exists for many reasons. In the past, were you able to discuss issues openly and calmly? What you are looking for here is an increase in the normal amount of defensiveness.
18. His/Her appearance has changed. Your partner, who previously dressed conservatively, is now suddenly buying designer boxer shorts and more trendy clothes. Or, your partner, who never spent much time grooming himself, is now fussy about how his hair looks and uses grooming products he’s never used before.
19. His/Her behavior has changed. Your partner, who usually avoided office parties and events, is now constantly attending them “for the sake of his career.” Or, your partner suddenly takes up and becomes obsessed with a new hobby or sport that keeps him away from home. Or, your partner who usually is home for dinner every night now “works late” and takes more frequent “business trips.”
20. His/Her attitude has changed. Your laid back partner seems to have been injected with unusual enthusiasm, seems more happy, alive, energetic and is more kind and loving towards you, too. He may buy you more gifts and shower you with suprises, which, until now, has not been his natural character.
21. He/She wants less “we time” and more “me time.” When you got together as a couple, you consciously or unconsciously negotiated how much “me time” you would have and how much “we time” you as a couple would have. Now, you are noticing a shift from “we” to your partner wanting much more “me” time. You aren’t included to the degree you used to be in your partner’s extra-curricular activities. —Susanne Jorgensen (SexChronicles)